May 1, 2026

To Sarah,

There is a quote from Modern Family that I love:

“We choose our partners because they represent the unfinished business from our childhood. And we choose them because they manifest the qualities we wish we had.”

It’s no secret that we are imperfect people.

I’m extremely defensive and have a hard time handling criticism. I’m also very impatient and fall back on manipulation or lying when put in uncomfortable positions.

You take 2 hours to book a bus ticket, only to cancel it the next day and take a train - a ticket you booked 2 months ago - instead.

You are a Google Docs creator and color coordinator. I am a “will look at Google Maps when I get there” adventurer.

You cry loudly at everything, and I hide what I’m feeling.

You take the initiative to talk about conflict and what upsets you. I prefer to not think about things.

This is not to say we are completely different. There are many things in common that we share.

Here is a non-exhaustive list:

1. We love Harry Potter movies.

2. We love Dune.

3. We love Dune 2 more.

4. We love chicken wings.

5. We love playing target sports (like axe-throwing or darts, which is why I think we should get into golf).

6. We love Succession.

7. We love Veep.

8. We love Westworld.

9. We love Game of Thrones.

10. Wow there’s a lot of TV going on.

11. Is this all we do?

12. What the heck

But despite our many similarities, I think it’s safe to say that we are more different than we are similar.

Here is a non-exhaustive list:

1. I am Chinese.

2. You are not Chinese.

3. I love spicy food.

4. You think paprika x cumin “has a kick to it.”

5. I am not a picky eater.

6. You wear a weird rabbit headband when you wash your face.

7. You sniff alcohol swabs.

8. You try to label your illnesses.

9. I haven’t gone to the doctor in 6 years.

10. I would win in a long jump competition.

11. I would win in a javelin throwing competition.

12. I would win in an arm wrestle.

13. You know how to ice skate.

14. You need sweet treats otherwise you will cry.

15. You don’t consider fruit a sweet treat.

16. You think cantaloupe is an S-tier fruit (it’s not).

But you are still my best friend.

You know exactly what to say whenever I need to be picked up, and I feel like I never say the right things to you.

You complete me in ways that I am broken, and I hope that you feel I complete you in similar ways.

I miss you a lot. It’s hard to be so far apart for so long, when the status quo is a 10 minute walk from each other. But I am so proud of you for taking action in your life and not accepting subpar situations.

While I know that you wish this trip and experience can heal in you some ways, it’s important to not stay so zoomed in. If you feel an emptiness because it’s not quite what you expected - that is okay. The journey is more important than the destination, but this is NOT the only journey. Your journey, and mine, are much longer, much more complicated, and are only just beginning.

Journeys can be lonely, but please remember that you are not alone. We will always have each other to count on and help us when we feel broken down. And, perhaps it’s our opposite perspectives, our personalities and voices that are so different from our own, that can be what we really need when times are tough.

I love you the most. Thank you for being my best friend for the past 3 years. Thank you for being so different than me.

From,
Alex